Plaxico Movie Hires Stevie Johnson

By Wyatt Massey

What better audition is there than a NFL Sunday on national television? For Stevie Johnson, a Buffalo Bills receiver, his sunday audition has landed him a spot in Hollywood.   Fake Films Inc. is rumored to have offered Johnson the leading spot in their upcoming film “Plaxico Burress: A Shot at Glory.” The multimillion dollar production follows the story of Plaxico Burress, now a receiver for the New York Jets, and his rise from irrelevance to fame, then back to irrelevance, and now slowly back toward fame.

It was Johnson’s antics during a touchdown celebration against the Jets last sunday that caught the eye of Vanessa Hopkins, the CEO of Fake Films Inc. “When I saw Mr. Johnson reenact the Plaxico self-wounding incident I saw a wealth of raw talent. We had been mulling over whether or not to produce Plaxico’s story, but at that moment I knew it had to be done, and that we had our leading man.”

Stephan Spittleburg, a talent evaluator for Fake Films Inc, added “Stevie Johnson performed his audition perfectly. Whether he was actually auditioning is irrelevant because he cemented the part. I have not seen that sort of concentration in acting since Adam Sandler auditioned for William Wallace in our production of ‘Braveheart 3: Back from the Shadows.’ With Stevie playing Plaxico there seems to be little chance that this movie will not be a huge success. I’m personally looking forward to seeing the club scene, which I’m sure will be Stevie’s best piece of acting.”

A big question for Stevie Johnson is whether or not he can pull off Plaxico's disgusting visor look.

Stevie Johnson was not able to contacted at this time to confirm his association with the film, but it is widely assumed that he will be missing some upcoming games for the Buffalo Bills because of the movie’s production. As bothersome as that may seem for the Bills’ organization, it will most likely be a positive considering Johnson has a long history of dropping very catchable balls in crunch-time situations. Something his counterpart, Plaxico Burress knows nothing about.

With a release date in June 2013, this movie is one to mark your calendars for. Jason Statham is rumored to be playing Eli Manning for the Superbowl scene, along with Sean Connery as Tom Coughlin. These choices caused some skepticism among critics, but Hopkins assured them that they were the best choices. “The only hole in our rock solid cast is David Tyree,” voiced Hopkins. “We have been searching for months for him to play himself, but it seems that he, much like his career in the NFL, has disappeared.”

This movie, and the choice of Johnson seems like the perfect pick to me, but I guess that will be decided when he gives his Oscar speech. Massey out.

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One thought on “Plaxico Movie Hires Stevie Johnson

  1. Pingback: Super Bowl XLVI – In Review « News4Mass

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