Breaking News: Acoustic Guitar Playing Man Found Unattractive by Female Population

In a report out of Goldsboro, North Carolina Calvin Walker, a waiter and bus boy at a local diner was found “unattractive” by a polling of women who spotted him playing acoustic guitar in the Goldsboro City Park. Walker apparently began playing songs on his guitar around 10 am in hopes of attracting the usual hordes of women that flock to the sound of an acoustic melody. Unfortunately for Walker this was not the case. Although he serenaded the park with the work of John Mayer, Jason Mraz, and Coldplay¬†not a single female was seen running toward him.

“It was heartbreaking,” stated Walker, after leaving the park disgruntled. “I put in a lot of time to learn those chords and I thought the payout would be being mobbed by women. But I guess the advertisement on the box for this guitar lied.”

The women who saw Walker and later questioned cited that, despite the acoustic guitar, Walker was “nothing flashy” and “without a hipster hat.” Overall the message was clear, Calvin Walker is not an attractive acoustic guitar player. But the hope is still out there for you.

Hold on, I’m just trying to learning how to play Stairway to Heaven here………..Massey out.

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4 thoughts on “Breaking News: Acoustic Guitar Playing Man Found Unattractive by Female Population

  1. Pingback: Breaking… | How To Play Guitar Today

  2. Maybe 10 am was a bit early to be attracting girls with his guitar playing. He might have seemed more attractive to them if he’d waited until 10 pm and they’d got some alcohol in them.

  3. Pingback: Man Attempts To Prove He Has “Moves Like Jagger” « News4Mass

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