MASS Skepticism – Wrestling Quote

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Throughout my journeys I come across many things that I am critical of. Instead of becoming increasing angry and violent I chose to create MASS Skepticism. MASS Skepticism is an insightful column, powered by everything which I am skeptical of. So enjoy.

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Really Dan Gable? EVERYTHING in life is easy? Because I think I can come up with plenty of things that are hard, regardless of a wrestling background.

When it comes to sports there is little argument that can be made to prove that wrestling is easy. In fact there is almost nothing that supports such sentiment. However, for someone, even if it is gold medalist wrestler Dan Gable, to say that “everything else in life is easy” after wrestling is a bit of a stretch. I spotted this quote on a wrestling team board and it made me think, what would be difficult, regardless of a wrestling background?

So Mr. Gable, how about the Bar Exam? Huh? You know, the test which determines whether you can be a practicing lawyer? Despite all the wrestling you could have possibly done in your life I stand firmly in my belief that it would not make the Bar Exam any easier. The examination is spread over two days, ranging from multiple choice questions to questions that make the tester write complex and well-argued essays. The point of the test is to determine knowledge of law and decide whether the test taker is qualified to become a practicing lawyer. Despite what little I know about wrestling, I do know that wrestling is NOT law school. So no amount of wrestling would make the Bar Exam any easier. (Massey-1. Gable-0)

Tuyuca, a language used in the Amazon, is said to be one of the hardest languages to learn. Using nasal sounds and constants the language is used infrequently by people out of the country and contains many words that have meanings that would be complex sentences in English. Thinking about learning Tuyuca? Well here’s a tip, don’t spend your time wrestling, because it won’t help you. Pinning your opponent won’t suddenly enlighten you about how to pronounce “hóabãsiriga,” so you best get off the mat and hit the books. Sorry wrestlers, but language wasn’t born from grappling on a mat. (Massey-2. Gable-0.)

What if I find myself being confronted as to take either the red pill or the blue pill in a very Matrix like movie? What then? Because I don’t think as Neo was contemplating which pill to swallow he thought to himself, gosh, you know what? I’m sure glad I wrestled as a kid, otherwise this decision would be really tough. If he did, I stand corrected. Matrix lovers who also double as avid lovers may then serenade me with nasty words, but I would be willing to bet Neo was not a wrestler when he was in school. But Morpheus on the other hand…..(Massey-3. Gable-0.)

And finally, though this may be a stretch, you find yourself skydiving. Oh, what? You don’t have a rip cord or a parachute? Darn that’s terrible. Looks like you’re in a bit of a pickle. But hey, good thing you wrestled! (Massey-4. Gable-0.)

THAT’S IT! Call the match, it’s over. Though I do not know how exactly one wins in wrestling I know that the lead has grown to an insurmountable number. So, in order to preserve my sanity, and return you kind readers back to your daily lives I will stop this edition of MASS Skepticism. So long, Massey out.

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4 thoughts on “MASS Skepticism – Wrestling Quote

  1. this is just horrid. Dan Gable is a practicing lawyer in 5 countries and can sing the national anthem in 13 languages, including your new found gutteral grunt language. Frankly, i’m offended for him.

    • I understand your concern, but Dan Gable received only a Bachelor’s Degree from the University of Iowa so the chances of him being a multi-lingual, practicing lawyer is unlikely…

  2. W. Massey
    For being as educated as you appear to be so proud to be, I feel you missed the point. Having been raised a wrestler, I feel I fully understand. Wrestling, Mr. Massey, if you were to study up on it, is a sport of intense conditioning and intestinal fortitude. Finding myself in deadly hand to hand combat, I know that the years of intense controlled combat called wrestling saved me, not my years of high honors and educational success. I will also say wrestling also taught me the discipline I needed for a heavy course load. Maybe you really missed out by not wreatling. Because if you had, you wouldn’t be that educated and still miss point.

    • I appreciate your concern, but the post was a satirical look at the quote that happened to catch my eye. No, I never did wrestle, but I don’t believe that hindered me in my comprehension at all.

      The post was intended to be funny, not a serious consideration of the pros and cons of wrestling.

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